Cospheres

“If you have a beautiful story, it has to have conflict. If you don’t have conflict, it can’t be a good story.” — Donald Miller

Remember those early school days when we learned how to write stories? Our teachers emphasized certain elements: captivating characters, intriguing plots, and, above all, conflict.

Now, consider your favorite story—whether it’s a novel, a movie, or a song. 

The iconic characters in these tales embark on unique journeys, facing challenges meticulously crafted just for them. Each obstacle aligns with their strengths, weaknesses, and personal growth.

What if life operates similarly? What if the conflicts we encounter aren’t random misfortunes but challenges sent by life itself? 

What if life personalizes your challenges?

Imagine that your life is like a tailor-made outfit—each stitch, each seam, meticulously crafted to fit you and only you. Others may seem to have smoother paths, but their challenges wouldn’t fit you any better than a suit tailored for someone else.

So, what could you do to embrace these tailor-made challenges?

1. Conduct a Life Audit

Take a moment to observe your life experiences—the challenges you’ve overcome and those you’re currently facing. Consider three key pillars:

1. Your Circumstances:
   • Reflect on common situations where you find yourself struggling. How do these test your weaknesses?
   • These circumstances are like tailor-made challenges—crafted uniquely for you.
2. Yourself:
   • Explore personality traits or characteristics you consistently grapple with. Are you sometimes too little or too much of something?
   • Listen to feedback from those close to you. They might highlight areas where you can grow.
3. Your Common Areas:
   • Notice patterns—do your challenges often relate to specific life domains?
     1. Career
     2. Money/Finance
     3. Health
     4. Relationships
     5. Friendships
4. Your Themes and Storylines:
   • Jot down recurring themes and story arcs in your life. What lessons do they hold?

Remember, this life audit isn’t about judgment; it’s about understanding and growth. 

2. Get Curious

As you navigate these recurring themes and storylines –  ask questions that allow you to redefine your challenges:

• Envision the most positive resolution to your challenges. What would that look like? How would it transform your life?
• Consider where this conflict might lead you. Is it a stepping stone toward growth, resilience, or a new chapter?
• Look at the person you’re becoming through these challenges. What qualities are they shaping within you?
• Imagine finding the resolution. What doors would swing open? What opportunities await?

3. Chip Away to the Resolution

If life can personalize your challenges

Life can also personalize your resolutions.

But the catch is you must unravel your resolutions, no one is handing you the keys just like that.

Keep chipping away by tapping into all the wealth of resources at your disposal – your friends, your family, your network, your past learnings, your heart, your faith.

Chipping away isn’t some short term thing – it’s a long term process that’ll take time to get to your resolution. Give chipping away all the time in the world because the only way out is through and the timing is unpredictable. Can be a long time or a short time.

P. S. You have to pat yourself on the back here because if you do this, you’re going deeper into places that perhaps others aren’t willing to go to – that’s why they say this is a marathon, not a sprint. 

4. Don’t Forget to Share Along The Way

It’s easy to project up a front and tuck up all the issues you’re facing right inside of you.

But, don’t be shy to be open and transparent about these challenges…especially around humans you can trust and will lend an ear to.

When you vocalize your challenges and you express yourself – you’ll begin answering more questions and asking more poignant questions 

Your challenge starts to feel normal and you take away that illusion that it’s a massive challenge. You can see a bit more clearly as another problem you’re working to solve.

And most of all, you can step back to know that you are writing the resolution.

Soon enough – life’s gonna let you know that you’ve found the resolution and you have reached your conclusion.

One chapter ends.

The next one begins.

And off you go again.